A bit of Butterflies and B&B

I'll admit until a few months I was a very negative and pessimistic person.  I'd argue that anyone who self-harms or has a negative outlook on life is a lot like that.  You don't think that you are being negative, rather you believe, deep down you are being realistic.  You don't dare think that what you are doing from day to day matters, but you do it, because it's habit. Then something gets you down, and you just want to start all over again.  Trouble is you start and you are still in a bad place. You want to be at point a, b, c, and e already and you are still stuck on "-A."  You want to show the world that you have improved and accomplished something of value, and you want to be there to show... come hell or high water, but darn it all, you can't.  You can't believe in yourself, and you are surrounded by challenges you don't want, and believe you don't need. You have no more hope. Should you hope? I feel that, in a way it can b...

First, Forgive I've made mistakes.  I've done things which probably should be done.  I've ranted, I've raved, I've pushed too hard, or too little.  I've grown, I've fallen back, I've stopped, and started. I can't be human without making mistakes, and I can't be me without my hangups and challenges.  Or can I be more than the sum of my broken parts? Can I be the one who can take where I am right now and grow from there?  Is there a way I can change who I am, my past and my future? This is where I have my hangup, I understand in words at least that my past is my past and my future is not yet determined, but I am unable to remain in the present.  Because I am creative, or because I can't stay in the present moment, I have a choice.  In this stage of my life I've learned that my choices have always been there, but the element I was missing was forgiveness. For myself, from myself. Forgiveness is a powerful weapon.  You can tell s...

When the day seems to get away from you, and you can't seem to get on the path you are trying to create, it's easy to say to "hell with it all."   The thing is, if someone says it, then they have simply given up trying to be more than what they are now.  That's a sad thing, because people talk about improving themselves, and how "great it is this day" life doesn't give a damn about your words, but rather it throws you a curve ball. Darren Hardy or John Maxwell or any other professional coaches might help, but if you're not really into it, or deep down fear change, no matter how much money you spend on them, it's not going to help. Growth comes from challenges, and some challenges just seem to be a lot bigger than what you want. I am told, that you only get some much because you are ready to deal with that much, but the reality is, that's not true. Think about rain for a moment, it's a good thing to have, after a hot day, hav...