Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Planning The Way You Need To

I'm not the best person when it comes to planning anything.  I tend to have a million ideas, and plans at the go at once.

Focused?  No, not really.  I'm rather selfish when it comes to making plans and keeping them.  I mean really who loves to have a plan broken?  I'm sad to say, my method of planning doesn't work.  It's not that it's not focused, but rather that because all of them are focused, I can't stick to one.
Planning is something you need to do... but

I write down the plans, and then rewrite them.  I think of colour coded things, and of doing the plans, and of maybe tweaking the ones I have at the moment.  I write them down, I put up the dates, the plans, the hours of work.

Then NOTHING.

It's true, I do have plans, but it's not the way I need to plan them.  The trouble is that I get past the thinking part and get into the planning part.  The writing down, the work of putting it from an idea to an action.  The challenge that I have in my planning is that I can not focus enough on the actions.  I am not the best at saying no.  I can not help but feel bad when I say no or when something doesn't work out the way I might want.

I know it's to do with boundaries.

When I was younger I had too many boundaries, the ones of "you're too little" or "you can't do that" or worst still I would get the planning done and then someone would take over. The boundaries were not for me, but for them.  In some cases they are still there.

Not healthy.

The boundaries are killing me, and they are boundaries I need to break.  Breaking old boundaries takes time.  It also takes effort to make others understand I am growing and changing.  Even with people who matter to me, it means I need to work on the action part of planning.

My planning needs to start with some boundaries:

1) Respect of my own plans.  No one has the ability to change my plans, unless I let them.

2) Respect of my own actions.  It's only myself who is responsible.  I have made the plans, and I can prove that they are sound, but I don't respect myself enough to do the actions I wait for others.

3) Protecting my boundaries.  There are enough people in life who don't respect your plans, and will bully you out of them.  By protecting my boundaries, I can learn to create the actions I need.  

4) Having a set time frame.  Now, with a set time frame I am looking for responsibility and for understanding.  The time frame can be my own, but needs to be planned in.  If I can't do it, it is my responsibility to re-create it.

5) Planning is about healing.  If I am going to change I need to do it on my own terms.  A plan will work, if I am willing to do the challenging effort.

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