Skip to main content

Healing From Big Expectations

What is the best thing about being more creative?

Hint: Don't write goals... at least at the moment.

Don't misunderstand me, writing down goals are important, except when they are too big.  I've done it, where a goal can't be managed and I feel defeated.  I set myself up.  At least I can't blame something like the law of attraction- I did it myself.

I looked at the recent writing goals I had.  They were written about a year and a bit ago,. The only problem is they were something like this: "I'll write 2,000 words today."  The last time I wrote 2,000 words a day was in college, about 30 years ago.

I know I can't write 2,000 words in one day.  

I set myself up to fail, and then I hate what I've done, and hate myself for writing that goal.  In the end, I hate the fact I considered how bad I was as a writer, and eventually as a person. MY goals- and MY habits broke me. I lost hope, and lost myself.

I hated to be near the computer, and I hated to be near people, because, I didn't want to admit that my goals where unrealistic to anyone, anywhere, and that I was wrong.  I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do- be the person who made over the top goals. There were too many and too much anger and bitterness than I wanted to admit.

Being creative in a different way means that not only can you help but you can heal. At least from making BIG goals.

When you hate doing something, you're not going to do it. By the end of last year, I was avoiding writing, and healing my body, my mind and my heart. I couldn't describe it, nor did I want to dig down.  My saving grace was walking away. Improving myself and learning to be a better person, and a better writer.

If I hadn't, my mental state would be far worse than what it is now, my life would be more of a disaster than it is at the moment. It's getting back to a state of feeling I have some sort of creative juice- to write, and to be on YouTube. It's a start and I'm good with the start.

It helped me heal.

I don't have goals right now, and I'm good with this.  I just want to write, and that is a good beginning.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks for the comments.

Popular posts from this blog

First, Forgive

First, Forgive I've made mistakes.  I've done things which probably should be done.  I've ranted, I've raved, I've pushed too hard, or too little.  I've grown, I've fallen back, I've stopped, and started. I can't be human without making mistakes, and I can't be me without my hangups and challenges.  Or can I be more than the sum of my broken parts? Can I be the one who can take where I am right now and grow from there?  Is there a way I can change who I am, my past and my future? This is where I have my hangup, I understand in words at least that my past is my past and my future is not yet determined, but I am unable to remain in the present.  Because I am creative, or because I can't stay in the present moment, I have a choice.  In this stage of my life I've learned that my choices have always been there, but the element I was missing was forgiveness. For myself, from myself. Forgiveness is a powerful weapon.  You can tell s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Planning The Way You Need To

I'm not the best person when it comes to planning anything.  I tend to have a million ideas, and plans at the go at once. Focused?  No, not really.  I'm rather selfish when it comes to making plans and keeping them.  I mean really who loves to have a plan broken?  I'm sad to say, my method of planning doesn't work.  It's not that it's not focused, but rather that because all of them are focused, I can't stick to one. Planning is something you need to do... but I write down the plans, and then rewrite them.  I think of colour coded things, and of doing the plans, and of maybe tweaking the ones I have at the moment.  I write them down, I put up the dates, the plans, the hours of work. Then NOTHING. It's true, I do have plans, but it's not the way I need to plan them.  The trouble is that I get past the thinking part and get into the planning part.  The writing down, the work of putting it from an idea to an action.  The c...
Post a Comment
Read more

Create to Help and Heal

What is the best thing about being a bit more creative? It helps me and it helps others.  Part of what makes a person want to be creative is that they want something that isn't in their heads all the time.  I can come up with hundreds of ideas, but if I want to focus on what works, and what doesn't I'll need to get something out. I'm saying do not write down goals.  At least not yet. Don't misunderstand me, writing down goals are very important, but the problem is that, for someone like myself, I'll have some fairly lofty and insane goals. The ones where I'm setting myself up for failure and not even thinking about what I can do to get there. Take my writing goals for instance, I'd love to sit back, enjoy some tea and write.  The only problem is that I tend to say "hey I'll write 2,000 words today."  Sure. Okay.  Yup.  So what sort of poor excuse am I going to give myself when I don't write 2,000 words TODAY? I know I can...
2 comments
Read more